By
This month, I turned thirty. And with that, a new decade, a new chapter, and a whole lot more fun to have as life changes and starts to make more sense.
The turn to 30 has been an overwhelmingly pleasant one, as I reflect on where I’ve always wanted to be and what I’ve wanted to have at this age, and breathe a sigh of relief that I have all of that and more. Although, I do believe I could be a little bit better at giving myself kudos as there’s a little part of me that still can’t comprehend and fully appreciate it.
My 20s were wild. As wild as you would expect from me, and even more that's happened behind closed doors. Which means I've had a lot of learnings along the way, whether I wanted them or not, but I am so delighted that I'm here to reflect on what the last decade has been.
1. Balance Is a Myth (But We Can Try)
Balancing career, social life, family, health, and hobbies? Impossible. Life isn’t a perfectly curated Instagram grid, but if you can be intentional about what matters most to you right now, you’re doing just fine.
2. Your Career is Not Your Identity
Yes, gaining affirmations from a successful career path can mean a lot. But you are so much more than your LinkedIn profile, and pouring your all into work leads to disappointment every single time. Invest in your hobbies, try new paths, and remember that it’s okay to change directions.
3. Love Over Limerence
I was for sure a casebook limerence girly. Falling for people in your 20s can be intense, exhilarating, and usually unstable and inconsistent. But the true, lasting love – the one built on trust, respect, and most importantly, shared values, is way better than constantly feeling out of sorts.
4. Family is Everything (but you define what that means)
Family doesn’t just mean the people you’re related to – it’s those who choose to join you in your journey. They don't have to be by your side every minute, but they're with you to celebrate your accomplishments and wallow with you during the bad breakups (and back you even if you were the crazy one). If you have family members (blood) that do not respect you as a person, you can make a decision to not have to put yourself through that (I did, no regrets then and no regrets now).
5. You Can’t Please Everyone, and You Don’t Have To
Trying to please everyone is exhausting, and ultimately, impossible. Your job isn’t to make everyone happy – it’s to live authentically and surround yourself with people who appreciate you for it. Like that one Dita Von Teese quote - 'yada yada' not everyone likes peaches. Some people just won't like you, and some people you just won't like. Leave it, move on, don't dwell.
6. Financial Independence is Your Goal
Striving for financial independence is key. That doesn't mean you have to scrimp and save everyday. For me, a night out with friends and over-priced cocktails is worth the expense, because it fulfills me socially and makes me happy. When you're younger, have the money to back yourself, but staying in every night at 23 is not it. Remember, worst case, you can always bring a flask into the cocktail bar toilets. No credit cards please.
I was for sure a casebook limerence girly. Falling for people in your 20s can be intense, exhilarating, and usually unstable and inconsistent. But the true, lasting love – the one built on trust, respect, and most importantly, shared values, is way better than constantly feeling out of sorts.
4. Family is Everything (but you define what that means)
Family doesn’t just mean the people you’re related to – it’s those who choose to join you in your journey. They don't have to be by your side every minute, but they're with you to celebrate your accomplishments and wallow with you during the bad breakups (and back you even if you were the crazy one). If you have family members (blood) that do not respect you as a person, you can make a decision to not have to put yourself through that (I did, no regrets then and no regrets now).
5. You Can’t Please Everyone, and You Don’t Have To
Trying to please everyone is exhausting, and ultimately, impossible. Your job isn’t to make everyone happy – it’s to live authentically and surround yourself with people who appreciate you for it. Like that one Dita Von Teese quote - 'yada yada' not everyone likes peaches. Some people just won't like you, and some people you just won't like. Leave it, move on, don't dwell.
6. Financial Independence is Your Goal
Striving for financial independence is key. That doesn't mean you have to scrimp and save everyday. For me, a night out with friends and over-priced cocktails is worth the expense, because it fulfills me socially and makes me happy. When you're younger, have the money to back yourself, but staying in every night at 23 is not it. Remember, worst case, you can always bring a flask into the cocktail bar toilets. No credit cards please.
7. Be a Lifelong Learner
Never stop learning! Whether it’s through books, travel, or meeting new people, your 20s are the perfect time to dive into new interests and experiences. Stay curious – it’s what keeps life vibrant.
8. Notes App Everything
Saw a new restaurant/bar/venue you're begging to check out, but your next few weekends are already maxed out? If you're like me and subscribed to CityMag, GlamAdelaide, InDaily, SALife, and always stumbling across the latest new thing to check out, notes app it for ease of being first in the group chat to propose your next group dinner location. Thoughts in the shower, grocery lists, life planning, I am a notes app girly through and through.
9. Believe in Your Own Potential
Above all, believe in yourself – in your strength, resilience, and creativity. You are capable of incredible things, and your 20s are just the start. Embrace your path, take risks, and have faith that everything will happen as it needs to.
10. Don't Get Into Fights Online
When I was younger (and a lot more outspoken) man I loved a good online debate. But each time ended up the same way, a very public back and forth with someone who absolutely wouldn't understand my point of view, and anxiety fuelled glances at my phone waiting for the fire to dwindle before I could take a breath and move on. Protect your peace, keep the conversations face to face (or at least post them on a one-way communication channel like your blog - hahaha).
11. Define Your Hobbies
16. Go to Therapy
Even if you don't think you necessarily need it, it's good to have a person who is completely free to talk with. I have definitely had my more intense sessions, but I have always been emotionally drained from having to constantly vet who in my life I can say what to when it came to issues because of my complex family and relationship dynamics. Being able to let my thoughts flow openly is freeing and supports my mental health upkeep.
17. Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company
Being comfortable alone is one of the most empowering things you can learn. Spend time doing things solo – go to the movies, grab a coffee at your local, travel, or take yourself out for lunch and dinner dates. Being at ease in your own presence builds confidence like nothing else. My favourite personal time activities include going to the movies, sitting and reading in the park, shopping (obviously) checking out galleries - the world is yours.
9. Believe in Your Own Potential
Above all, believe in yourself – in your strength, resilience, and creativity. You are capable of incredible things, and your 20s are just the start. Embrace your path, take risks, and have faith that everything will happen as it needs to.
10. Don't Get Into Fights Online
When I was younger (and a lot more outspoken) man I loved a good online debate. But each time ended up the same way, a very public back and forth with someone who absolutely wouldn't understand my point of view, and anxiety fuelled glances at my phone waiting for the fire to dwindle before I could take a breath and move on. Protect your peace, keep the conversations face to face (or at least post them on a one-way communication channel like your blog - hahaha).
11. Define Your Hobbies
What do you say when people ask "so, what do you do with yourself outside of work?". Sit down with yourself, identify how you want to spend your free time outside of housework, and ensure you dedicate time to it. For me, it's been writing - and I have years and years of my words to read back on and remember what my life has been.
12. Schedule Your Self Care
Nice little title but in reality this is what I call having a 'piece of shit afternoon/night/weekend'. Open your calendar, book one in advance, and just do nothing. Yes, you can do an everything shower with skincare included, but you can also lay in bed, watch movies, order in and just chill. Planning in advance means you can get the important things out of the way and really relax.
12. Schedule Your Self Care
Nice little title but in reality this is what I call having a 'piece of shit afternoon/night/weekend'. Open your calendar, book one in advance, and just do nothing. Yes, you can do an everything shower with skincare included, but you can also lay in bed, watch movies, order in and just chill. Planning in advance means you can get the important things out of the way and really relax.
13. Invest In Staple Heels
If you can get yourself a pair in every colour of a good staple heel that can transition from work to brunches to family events to nights out - you'll be ready to strut out the house in any circumstance. My staple for a long time were from Tony Bianco, but are now unfortunately discontinued, so I would recommend the Anja Pump in Black Como and Caramel Phoenix.
14. Figure Our Your Style, Body Type and Colour Palette Early
Spending some time to figure out what works for you in the wardrobe department will help you curate a wardrobe that lasts a lifetime, and save you some pretty pennies while you shop online. Pinterest is your leader when it comes to working out style, The Kibbe Body Type System will help with understanding what cuts and styles are most flattering, and doing your Personal Colour Analysis will aid in what colours to gravitate to. Thanks to these systems, I can glance at a piece of clothing and know if it will be right, or wrong for me.
15. Keep Goal-Setting
Short, medium and long term goals are always a must. Right now, I'm long-term goal setting for my super contributions (oh, so 30s I know). But I'm also striving to write a few more articles and newsletters by the end of the year, and medium-term, I'm planning on moving into our new apartment, and hopefully having a holiday with my partner in the next year or two. Always have something to look forward to.
If you can get yourself a pair in every colour of a good staple heel that can transition from work to brunches to family events to nights out - you'll be ready to strut out the house in any circumstance. My staple for a long time were from Tony Bianco, but are now unfortunately discontinued, so I would recommend the Anja Pump in Black Como and Caramel Phoenix.
14. Figure Our Your Style, Body Type and Colour Palette Early
Spending some time to figure out what works for you in the wardrobe department will help you curate a wardrobe that lasts a lifetime, and save you some pretty pennies while you shop online. Pinterest is your leader when it comes to working out style, The Kibbe Body Type System will help with understanding what cuts and styles are most flattering, and doing your Personal Colour Analysis will aid in what colours to gravitate to. Thanks to these systems, I can glance at a piece of clothing and know if it will be right, or wrong for me.
15. Keep Goal-Setting
Short, medium and long term goals are always a must. Right now, I'm long-term goal setting for my super contributions (oh, so 30s I know). But I'm also striving to write a few more articles and newsletters by the end of the year, and medium-term, I'm planning on moving into our new apartment, and hopefully having a holiday with my partner in the next year or two. Always have something to look forward to.
16. Go to Therapy
Even if you don't think you necessarily need it, it's good to have a person who is completely free to talk with. I have definitely had my more intense sessions, but I have always been emotionally drained from having to constantly vet who in my life I can say what to when it came to issues because of my complex family and relationship dynamics. Being able to let my thoughts flow openly is freeing and supports my mental health upkeep.
17. Learn to Enjoy Your Own Company
Being comfortable alone is one of the most empowering things you can learn. Spend time doing things solo – go to the movies, grab a coffee at your local, travel, or take yourself out for lunch and dinner dates. Being at ease in your own presence builds confidence like nothing else. My favourite personal time activities include going to the movies, sitting and reading in the park, shopping (obviously) checking out galleries - the world is yours.
18. Don't Aim For Perfect
None of us are. But I know I'm especially hard on myself when I'm not 'perfect'. It's totally okay to make mistakes, especially in your 20s (actually, I encourage it - get them out of the way for your 30s!). There are behaviours I regret, decisions I would make differently now, but in the grand scheme of things, everything turns out exactly the way it needs to.
19. There's Value In The Shitty Career Job
When you're making your way into your career, take the underpaying job where you'll learn a lot. I definitely couldn't afford it then, but the knowledge I gained in my first real job (which was fabulous, but also didn't have a standard wage) paved the way for me to gain the know-how to move into bigger and better roles from it, still when I was quite early in my career.
20. Wear What Makes You Happy
In my early 20s, the majority of my wardrobe was from op-shops. They're a great place to experiment with different styles and ideas, and some of my favourite every day pieces are ones I bought back in 2010. But ultimately feeling confident in what you wear is going to make a difference to how you feel when you're out. I feel so much more confident in a sequin mini dress, blazer and cowboy boots than I do in denim jeans and a cute black top. Wear what makes you happy and let that not be something you have to think about on the daily when there's so much more happening in life.
None of us are. But I know I'm especially hard on myself when I'm not 'perfect'. It's totally okay to make mistakes, especially in your 20s (actually, I encourage it - get them out of the way for your 30s!). There are behaviours I regret, decisions I would make differently now, but in the grand scheme of things, everything turns out exactly the way it needs to.
19. There's Value In The Shitty Career Job
When you're making your way into your career, take the underpaying job where you'll learn a lot. I definitely couldn't afford it then, but the knowledge I gained in my first real job (which was fabulous, but also didn't have a standard wage) paved the way for me to gain the know-how to move into bigger and better roles from it, still when I was quite early in my career.
20. Wear What Makes You Happy
In my early 20s, the majority of my wardrobe was from op-shops. They're a great place to experiment with different styles and ideas, and some of my favourite every day pieces are ones I bought back in 2010. But ultimately feeling confident in what you wear is going to make a difference to how you feel when you're out. I feel so much more confident in a sequin mini dress, blazer and cowboy boots than I do in denim jeans and a cute black top. Wear what makes you happy and let that not be something you have to think about on the daily when there's so much more happening in life.