Melbourne VIC, Australia

My Guide To Melbourne from an Adelaide Romantic

20 Jun 2019


Well, it’s been a whirlwind couple of days after I uprooted my life and booked an impromptu holiday to the cloudy city that is Melbourne.

I did this for three reasons;
1. Work has been manic, and I needed a break
2. I’ve been longing for a creatively charged adventure for a while
3. A very small part of me needed to get out of the city for a few days to clear my head on some things


And honestly, it was the best decision I’ve made in a long time.


Melbourne is such a beautiful city and the culture that exuberates out of every alleyway is just a hotbed for art and creativity. But, while I was in the epicentre of amazing flat whites, I noticed a few things that are different from our little old Adelaide town. 



THE DRIVERS ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT

Adelaide is known for the Super500, and the drivers on our streets aren’t much different from the cars that make our February morning commutes hell and our early sleep schedules unbearable. SA drivers don’t fucking stop for pedestrians. I’ve managed to secure a foolproof plan on the streets at home of walking in front of cars who should be stopping for me, hand in the air thanking the driver before they even considered the brake pedal. The only issue with this approach is the slight chance that I might get run over. In Melbourne, if you’re anywhere near a sidewalk; that car is slowing down with their pointer finger raised, smiling and inviting you into the road so you can carry on to paint a mural or buy a cold brew coffee shop, or whatever you have planned that day.

PUBLIC TRANSPORT IS CONFUSING, AND YOU WILL GET LOST

Okay, so I only went on the Melbourne trains. But that was enough for me to call it quits. Melbourne public transport is like the direct opposite of Adelaide. While in Adelaide, you’ll have to wait 45 minutes in the middle of the day for a new train going to the CBD, and then it never comes; Melbourne’s train system fucks with you in a whole nother way. Trains going in different directions from the same platform within two minutes from each other? And what the hell is Myki? Am I supposed to understand the difference between charging my myki money and charging my myki pass? If there’s a leaflet of info that you know of, please enlighten me because, without the help of a cute bearded redhead guy at Southern Cross Station, I wouldn’t have made it home at all. 



EVERYTHING IS SOMEHOW COOLER

I don’t know what it was about a discarded 7-11 slushee container, thrown into a bush on the side of the road in Malvern that made it look cool… but trust me, it just was. There’s something about the brick sidewalks, eclectic buildings, bustling main streets and general hipster culture that makes Melbourne dirty, grungy, cool and clean all at the same time. 

THE GOOD FOOD AND COFFEE DAYS ARE DONE

You know how Melbourne is supposedly the home of the best coffee in the world? I’m going to challenge the ironic moustache clad barista who served me Tuesday morning and say that the baton for food culture has been passed on to Adelaide. Melbourne hits the mark in small, quirky, cute cafes and restaurants that are fitted the house down boots for Insta snaps; but the coffee doesn’t have anything on Felici Espresso Bar on Rundle St, and the food relies more on ingredient combo shock factor than mastering culinary arts. (I will admit, there are so many places to go in Melbourne and this is only an overall opinion on my travels, Chin Chin is still the best salad I’ve ever had in my life). 



YOU WILL BRING MAKE-UP YOU WILL NEVER USE

Delusions of grandeur, my darling. You know what I thought I would do in Melbourne? Maybe get some sick pictures of myself gallivanting around town showing off my meticulously planned outfits I put together specifically for furthering my "fashion icon career". I assure you, the idea of putting on makeup and looking good in any way gets thrown out of your 43-story high apartment window the moment you realise there’s no space in the hotel bathroom and the lighting is a recipe for blotchy application. Save the luggage space and pack a big fuck off pair of sunnies to tide you over for your travels instead – for inspiration, pinterest search anything Mary-Kate.

YOU WILL FIND WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

Whatever the reason you’re fleeing the City of Churches, you will find it in Melbourne. Perhaps it’s a pair of fully sequined black boots that are dying to be worn at CryBaby (check). Maybe it’s clarity that you probably shouldn’t be messaging your ex-boyfriend drunk on red wine on a Monday night (double check). Maybe it’s that you’ve realised that you’ve been working at 60% these last few months and you need to kick things up a notch if you actually want to get things moving again to prevent falling into a work/life/boy slump and Emma can you please start replying to people sooner and nurturing your relationships because people are not going to be so lenient from here on out when you take 2 months to reply to an email. 

These are all only examples and definitely have no real-world relation to me or my trip, but you get the idea.


And as my Melbourne adventure comes to an end and my ‘Carrie Bradshaw blogging on the go from Tullamarine Terminal 4’ fantasy finishes. I think I’ll leave whoever read this far with one piece of advice. When you look back at those spontaneous, fun little trips, you’re going to remember what you did and where you went, not the problems that were hanging over your head or the boy who wouldn’t text you back. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to go everywhere and see everything, just let the adventure take you and those memories you make will stick with you forever.

Also, hot tip: fully abuse the vintage photo filter effect on all the pictures you take as you can see I certainly did. 

XOXO Emma

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