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Comparisons between The City of Churches and The City that Never Sleeps might seem like a lost cause, but with Adelaide's fast gentrification, and my Netflix search history of "Titles: Set in New York City", let's at least give this a go, shall we?
1. Our over obsession with technology
In New York in the 90s, it was all about the cell phone, the
Palm Pilot and the Blackberry. Really, if you had a portable phone with people who
actually wanted to talk to you, you were the highest level of “the shit”.
Modern Adelaide life is no different, with citizens jumping on to any
‘start-up’ company or app that have the ability to plaster itself in the pages of
GlamAdelaide, or promotionally get in your face on a drunken night out. But
just like those out-dated bricky phones from the 90s, only the startups with
substance will tick over into actual love from the new millennium/millennials.
2. Our love of Sport, and perpetual fear of the Sporting Greats
They have The Yankees, we’re lucky enough to have Port and The Crows. They have Yankee Stadium, okay well we really only have Adelaide Oval,
the other one doesn’t even count anymore. But with a mutual love of watching
sports, day drinking overpriced beers, and thinking you’re important on an delusional social scene because
you have a members pass, our sporting icons get tricky when you spot them in
the dating pool. The stories I’ve been told first hand involve hot tub
one-night stands and “Coach doesn’t let us go to town” late night booty calls,
all of which are firm no-no’s when you’re on quest for romance, Yankee or no. Seeya Jeter.
3. Manhattan VS. Over The Bridge
Our cutesy bar culture is pulling the wool over your eyes to the real fun. Oh Peel St is nice? You’ve been to Leigh St? Great cocktails
right? I’m sure… wait I do actually love it down there, but these streets are
right off our main nightclub district where all kinds of hedonism, debauchery, and sin are happening on the reg. Even out of Hindley, if you haven’t ended up
in a 70s Colombian style cocaine-esque mansion, where the inside water
fountain’s being used as an esky and the lead singer of a band is telling you
he used to be addicted to meth, you haven’t experienced Adelaide yet.
4. The Fashion
New York is synonymous with fashion. They have New York
Fashion Week, we have The Adelaide Fashion Festival. In the 90s they had Linda, Cindy,
Elle, and Helena, we have a still manageable amount of fashion bloggers who are
yet to get under my skin. Despite that we’re still defined as a country town in the
1995 Britannia Encyclopedia (PC Edition), we have some pretty great and
original fashion coming straight out of our TafeSA workshops, and walking off our very own runways.
5. Adelaide is “ “ this close to being
Rent-Controlled
Who doesn’t have an opinion about the property market right
now? So many overripe jokes about Avocados, and the crushing realisation when
you know deep down you’ll probably be renting of someone else’s parents for the
rest of your life while they get an allowance until they’re 25. How about we
just go rent controlled? Take a page from our 90s paramour and cap our ever
doubling renting fees to a “liveable” amount. Not sure where I can find an MP
that would listen to this idea about rich people still getting richer, but just
not as rich and as quickly at other peoples expense.
In all of its 20-years-behind glory, I still think we know we'd rather live in my little old home town than the concrete jungle of bagels, and people jerking off on you on public transport. All my love to you Adelaide,
Emma